Our choices speak to us through how we feel.
I’m feeling that my choice of attending certain networking groups is not serving my best interest. I’m feeling that if I have to listen to one more someone, or many someones, offering something to assist me I just might scream. While the intention comes from a good place, I don’t feel good when I’m there. That’s just me. But could it be you too?
I’ve noticed I’ve been sliding out of balance as I’ve been frequenting women’s groups and networking events.
The upside is I’m meeting some very nice people. The downside is I don’t feel good when I’m sitting in these meetings. The premise is to become more financially successful, more skilled, more something. You may wonder if there’s a problem with that? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
I can only attend so many of these meetings and then I start to feel that I should be “more”.
It’s an icky feeling that conveys I’m not enough, I need more skills, more cleverness, more state-of-art know-how, more something, etc… And in those feelings, I feel anything but empowered. I feel yucky.
My growth feels stunted not expansive.
I’d rather me and my fellow attendees take turns speaking at these meetings to share our successes, challenges, what’s working, what’s not working, and celebrate each other.
But that’s not how the meetings are strutured so I dream of inciting anarchy by imploring my fellow attendees to bolt. My plan is we sneak out before the dreaded 30-second elevator speeches start. We meet at the nearest coffee house for a regular old-fashioned conversation. We remind each other to…
- Stop trying so hard
- Remember that we’re already perfect (in a very normally imperfect way)
- Relax
- Ease up on working on ourselves so much
- Have way more fun, be light in order to create our dreams
- Remember we don’t need to be more
- Learn what we feel drawn to (Hint: we don’t have to be drawn to everything)
- We have many answers we just have to look for them
- We have to do our own (inner) work – there’s no shortcut!
- Realize we can totally do “this” and in fact already are, in our way and in our best timing
- Teachers are only offering their suggestions and tools and there really are no rules
- Learn from each other and then discover our own awesome best tools to assist ourselves
Of course, it’s beneficial to learn new skills and experience self-improvement. But…
There’s a balance worth creating; a balance of working on oneself while also feeling successful, talented, and whole.
When you attend any formal learning situation, if you feel yourself thinking “I should be more” then it’s time to rethink where you want to spend your time. Because that self-belief will not bring about your best possibilities.
When we’re in a lighter mindset we bring more opportunities, lessons, and experiences that contribute to our growth and happiness.
Be judicious about what feelings and self-beliefs you’re allowing inside of you and be aware of how you feel as you create them.
Perhaps you can start cultivating your best feelings by asking yourself questions.
Instead of saying to yourself “I should be here it’s good for me and/or my business”, ask yourself “is this what I want to do today? How do I really want to spend my time? What do I want to create today?” If the meeting or other activity is calling you in the best way possible then go and enjoy yourself. If not, it’s for you to create what you want to experience in that time.
In the meantime, you can start by realizing you’re pretty ok the way you are. In fact, you’re downright amazing!