The ideas and nudges are flowing and it appears I’m becoming unstuck. Ever since I left my corporate marketing career I’ve been feeling into what I want to do.
Does my intuition give me a roadmap to purposeful work? No. That’s not how it works.
It gently shows me this or that. And it’s for me to discover what I want to explore further.
I must admit that I’m dragging my feet in looking at my opportunities.
It’s been so wonderful not to have to go to an office all day and feel stressed, uninspired, and anxious. I couldn’t wait for the end of the workday. It’s been just about a year since I left that career. My time now is full of classes, exercising, massages, receiving cranial-sacral work, volunteering my time, painting. Fun stuff but these aren’t where my opportunities are. And I’ve been making safe choices. Doing more volunteer work when I’d prefer to start my own thing. But what is it that I want to start? What could I possibly do? What could it be?
When all else eludes me I take the Type A approach.
I decided to start a second meetup group. It’s all about discovering what works best and learning what I’m interested in. Possibly overachieving, I start a third meetup group! One group is on healing and making conscious changes for a kick-ass life (yup I actually put that on Meetup). The other one is for inspired souls with a purpose. I have high hopes for that one. And I still have the conversations on spirituality meetup.
Meetups, in addition to bringing folks together who have common interests, are a terrific opportunity to take on a leadership role. Because I’ve been such a back-of-the-room person, my meetups stretch me. I have to talk and lead a group discussion. Groups are a way to share with others and to practice saying what I think. If only I would.
So far I have no idea what it is I want to do. But I discover something.
I discover I’m not great at being genuinely me.
In other words, I hold back putting my thoughts into the discussion. But it’s a discussion group with the intention of everybody shares and I’m not sharing. I don’t want to offend anyone. I want to be liked. All kinds of squirmy discomfort show up around the opportunity to share.
It’s just like my guides to work with what they have. And they’re showing me how I’m a people pleaser. Polite to almost a fault. Oops. I see it too. A long-standing pattern going back to being a kid. Now I get to learn why this isn’t a helpful pattern to perpetuate.
A bit more inspiration shows up later in the week when I attended a documentary at a film festival. Unfortunately, we were meeting with someone in our home and our meeting ran into the movie’s start time. I really wanted to go anyway so I arrived halfway through the movie. I wondered why I was paying for a movie I’d only see half of. It became very clear when afterward I met a film fest volunteer and we had a weirdly wonderful conversation.
Clearly I was supposed to go to this movie so that I could meet her. That’s how intuitive guidance works. Anyway, she said something that gave me an idea for another step I can take. Plus she was just a really cool person, a seemingly very positive woman, and the kind of person I’m drawn to lately. She was intuitive and happy to share her generous information with me, specifically for me.
If you’re looking for a roadmap to purposeful work, start by acting on one impulse. 
Even if it turns out feeling like a dead-end, it’s ok. The more impulses you listen to and explore, the more you’ll find your desire.
My plan is to follow my instincts to whatever it is I’m excited about. Where exactly I’m headed I couldn’t tell you but it’s always unfolding. It just requires me taking some sort of action. And that’s the challenge or maybe that’s the fun part. I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.