It’s been easy to be attracted to bright and shiny objects as I look for more fulfillment in my life.
But as I learned after living most of my lifetime, is that shiny objects offer hollow promises and a short cut to feeling temporarily better. This instead of pursuing the more squirm-worthy, but valuable and braver act, of looking at myself for more long-term benefits.
Workshops used to be one of my shiny objects.
I absolutely love learning, and I remember practically skipping to any and all workshops about spirituality. Years ago I compartmentalized my interests. There were the corporate girl and the extremely open-minded somewhat funky girl (to me anyway). And I was a master at compartmentalizing myself. I catch myself still doing this around friends and family.
Anyway, the workshops I gravitated to included meditation techniques. Funny. I was already a meditator but the perfectionist in me thought I could be doing it better. I was always coming from the belief that I wasn’t ever enough. So of course I found myself attracted to workshops. Some of the workshops taught about the uses of essential oils, crystals, and chakras. They taught how to align with one’s highest self through accessing the tiny space of one’s heart while opening our Merkabah. That one included a surprisingly negative video. There was no pony to be found in that workshop.
That particular experience taught me that bright and shiny objects lose luster. They’re a distraction to a more direct path.
But I took one more. I’d already signed up for the workshop. In this one, we all rolled around on the floor with our eyes closed (me peeking once in a while to make sure everyone hadn’t rolled off for lunch). I’ve long since forgotten what the purpose of that exercise was.
Over my lifetime many shiny objects have decorated my life, from renovating my living space, advancing my career, taking vacations, to buying things.
Some shiny objects are fun and nothing wrong with that. But some are convenient distractions for me to take a longer road to where I really want to go.
I’m becoming aware of which is which. It’s no longer easier to stay in the mainstream. I need to do my own thing now, and there are no shiny objects attached to it to dazzle people with. No title, office, or benefits package to define success. It’s just as well because my experience is that when most shiny objects lose their luster, there’s just me standing there. Yikes…I’m the whoopteedoo shiny thing I was looking for. At the time, that was unbelievable for someone who felt worthless most of the time. Now that I no longer feel that way about myself, I’m creating my own definition of what really feels good to me. And it isn’t necessarily what other people will be dazzled by or understand. Success now is measured, in part, by joy.
There are so many amazing things I’m experiencing and learning about that are so much more interesting to me. I do know this. That any shiny object I pursue eventually leads me back to myself.