We have more than one purpose.
There are many reasons why we're here. The oversimplified shortlist might look like this.
- Experience and learn life lessons to assist you in evolving your soul
- Share your gifts
- Assist each other around what we came here to experience
- Enjoy this life
One of our purposes, listed above, is to share our gifts.
Everyone's purpose has two sides to it.
There's the part where you assist humanity. And the part where you're learning from your purpose.
How can you assist humanity? Here's one example. Let's say you're a grandparent. Just by being yourself, you might be demonstrating how your grandchild might experience life. You're teaching them how to treat others, how to look at themselves, or how to cut loose and have fun. They can be inspired to something very significant to their life, just because they were in your presence.
The other side is how your purpose serves you. As you step into your purpose, you'll be stretching yourself in ways that you're not used to. And the more you stretch yourself, the more you're experiencing yourself in new ways. Perhaps you'll notice how strong you are, or how intelligent you are, and that you have a way with people. The point being is that it's about becoming more you. To step out of following along and instead, step into creating what you came here to do. You still get to be you and you're always evolving, uncovering, and becoming. No matter what you're doing.
We often teach what we're to learn.
Our friends and family members, as well as the seemingly random strangers, show up at various times of our lives for a reason. They show up as both fellow-teacher and fellow-student. We're mirrors and teaching each other always what's best for us to learn. Sometimes these experiences can involve great pain and great joy. It can take time to realize what exactly an experience delivered to us. And it can take a minute to feel grateful for that person playing a part in assisting us. It's a beautiful thing and so simple really.
A couple of days ago I attended one of the American Craft Shows. It's a juried show and some very talented artists show up. There are a few artists who draw me into their booths. One is a man who has ceramic sculptures that are accompanied by spiritual sentiments he's written. They weren't the all-too-common famous person quotes. It was his beautiful original thoughts that accompanied his beautiful pieces. Then there's the artist who makes furniture with secret compartments, little hidden drawers, and cupboards, with inlaid wood and patinaed copper. I wouldn't so much have his pieces in our home but his work is unbelievably creative. And a couple of the artists incorporate a simple branch or stick as a handle on their ceramic bowls, vases, and vessels. It makes me smile.
There's an artist I always enjoy speaking with. We spoke for a while and I commented on how clever she is. When my husband and I walked away I threw my hands up in the air and I said something along the lines of, oh why can't I do that?! Or, I wish I could do that! I don't exactly remember but a woman appeared and said she was eavesdropping on our conversation.
She said to me, "you both have your gifts.
Her gift is creating art. Your gifts are different. But you both have your gifts. You came here to do what you're doing and she came here to do what she's doing". Or something to that effect. She didn't know that I often talk about and write about this very sentiment in my work. But the cool thing is that she appeared at just the right time to remind me.
Our gifts are all different.
There's a canvas in my office and I'm typing right next to it. Over the months, I've painted over it two times and on my way to #3. It's a hot mess. But it's my hot mess. I'm going with the flow and much like me, it keeps evolving. I may not be what you would call an artist, but I know how to have a good time. I know how to pull away from creating a course, or writing this blog post, or recording a video. Not that I always do this. When I'm too tenacious and hyper-focused I miss out on the fun. Getting up from my desk, and taking two small steps to brush color on canvas is a good way for me to remember not to take my more purposeful work so seriously.
Art is a love of mine, but it's not my work. My journey is to share and inspire through other avenues. But to only do that if I'm enjoying it.
Work is only one component of our purpose here. It took me most of this lifetime to discover what the work is that I love.
I had an idea of what I wanted to do, starting when I was a little girl when our parents bought a condo in Florida. Visiting there once or twice a year consisted of shelling with Mom, swimming in the Gulf, walking the beach, reading, and napping while laying in the sun. And in all those years my inspiration to be an oceanographer was watching dolphins swim in the Gulf. It was a kid's dream based on a kid's experiences. I had perhaps unrealistic expectations of, as an oceanographer, swimming with dolphins and spending my days on boats in the sunshine. I'd watched way too many Jacques Cousteau programs.
So what happened to my dream of being an oceanographer?
How did I end up in advertising and move to New York City? Was advertising my purpose for being here? Oh hell no.
First, I was an abysmal student. Rarely studied. Had my head in the clouds and that's not a euphemism for a dreamer. I mean clouds. Most were gray, some were darker, and often they rained. Once in a while, the clouds blew out and I'd almost believe in myself. But they'd roll back in and I'd think I wasn't good enough to do this or that. When I looked at colleges, I visited but didn't go to, a small Florida college thinking I could study oceanography there. Um, no. The tour took me into the lab and I saw scientific machines measuring things like wavelengths. And when they mentioned an Ichthyology class that pretty much knocked the wind out of my vision. Ichthy...what now? I'd ignored the part about math and science.
And so my child's dream work consisting of swimming, boating, and being friends with dolphins abruptly ended.
It was then that my path turned to Psychology. At that point, my plan was to be a child psychologist to help kids like me. Kids that didn't know what to make of the confusion they experienced. In the meantime, my favorite college class was getting my certification in scuba diving. It was the next best thing to you-know-what. And over the next couple of decades, I took a few diving vacations believing that was as close as I could get to that old dream.
Plans change. Especially when they're not heartfelt.
I didn't desire another degree, nor did I really want to be a child psychologist. After graduation, I sent my resume and cover letters to advertising agencies, first to Boston agencies to no avail. Then to New York City and went on a few interviews. I worked for large agencies, on prestigious accounts and for a brief moment, I thought I'd made it. Working and living in Manhattan. Going to glittery media parties at museums, and being taken out to business lunches by magazines. However, true success equals joy.
In reality, the work was tedious, stressful, with long hours. I was expected to be visible and deliver presentations to clients. Not an easy thing for me back then as I had a gripping fear of public speaking. It occurred to me I was never going to love helping Amtrak, Xerox, Owens Corning Fiberglas, Mobil Oil, among many others, be more successful. I just didn't care.
Having no other dreams, no sense of purpose, I stayed in that career for 20 years. Long time to be uninspired. Eventually, I transitioned to the client-side of the business. For another ten years or so, I worked for online companies such as AOL, among others. In order to feel good, I took nice vacations, took classes in photography and painting, did volunteer work, spent time outdoors, attended performances, became active in my community, joined a gym. It was a life and yet, it felt unimaginative and rote.
I had to learn it was never about what I was doing with my life, but more importantly, it was about how I felt.
Towards the end of my career, I started looking at and working on, myself. And as a result of that work, I started to uncover purpose.
Do you know your purpose? I have many purposes. So do you.
We all have our own gifts and purpose. Sometimes we need to take a moment to uncover and discover them. It's ok that my moment took most of my life. Finally, I stepped up to something that feels genuine and good to me. I wouldn't trade my experiences in New York City for anything. Nor, do I want to forget what I learned about myself as I worked in the Internet industry.
Of course, I learned so much about working for large companies. But I learned more about me. As I uncovered more of me I learned to value me, be seen, speak up, express my ideas and opinions. Though truly, I didn't experience much of that back then. Oh, I have so many stories. I choose to remember those stories as character building. What I can share is that I learned...
- no one is smarter or better than I am and visa versa
- work doesn't have to be boring or stressful or meaningless
- purpose morphs and will never stay in one place for long and that's a good thing
- it's what I choose to believe about myself that matters
- people and their opinions about me can never define me because I'm the one creating my experiences
- I never had to give up on any of my dreams. All I needed to do was allow the dream to shift. Had I asked the question "what else can I do to work in the field of the ocean"? Who knows what I would have done instead of advertising.
- whatever you end up doing you can't make a mistake because it's all part of your path even if you don't see it
- you will end up at your purpose one way or another
Even if I'd been an oceanographer, child psychologist, or writer, I'd still find my way to what I'm doing today. The journey to any point in time has many paths. There are so many choices available to us. None of them are wrong. All of them are possibilities. And time doesn't matter.
I do know this. It's our dreams that fuel our passion and what allows life to feel so exciting. Our ideas and dreams shape who we are. Let's always encourage kids to dream big. Keep telling them that they can achieve their dream or some version of it. Encourage and support them in seeing their significance.
You're still that kid. Dream big. Recognize your gifts and share them. It's never too late. We need you.
Enjoy two more posts on the topic of Purpose